I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
