we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Blood and glitter go together right?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
