Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
