Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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