If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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