i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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