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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
