Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This is my gift to your gina
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
