what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
