Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
