We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
