no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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