Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
