i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
