i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
