I want to walk on stilts...naked
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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