marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
