I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
