So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
