when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
