i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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