so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
