trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
