butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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