I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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