Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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