imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
