I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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