So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
