I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
