i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
