i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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