Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
