She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
