I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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