i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
