So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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