please come you make the beer taste better
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
