the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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