This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
