I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
