I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
