You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
