I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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