I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Of course I have a pirate flag
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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