This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
