there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
