as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
