He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
