I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
