i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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