Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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